I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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