OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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