The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
