Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
