We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
