I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize