there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
