he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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