I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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