we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
