if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
