Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
