I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize