I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
