Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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