tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
