it wasn't lemon gatorade
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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