So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
