I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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