I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I stole a fireplace last night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
