If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
