The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
