When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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