She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I want to be your penis for a week.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
