I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
