After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
