I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
