i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize