there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Mom said you looked used
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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