You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
