i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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