Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
third nipple confirmed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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