this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
