All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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