the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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