The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
