All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
