I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
