Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
