Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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