everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
