Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
