Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
