Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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