Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize