There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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