he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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