This dress was meant to end up on your floor
...so i touched it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
