new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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