A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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