yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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