He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
