i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
