Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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