I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
