AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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