It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize