Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
