He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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