operation have a gay friend backfired
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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