Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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